


Reach for the Stars My Dear, I'll Catch You if You Fall

by rosesofenvy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A bit of teenage angst, AU, Anxiety, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Panic Attacks, Pining, Realization, i will put specific warnings in the notes and paragraphs of the chapters, inspo from tiktok, loss of vision, starry eyes disease, will add as they apply
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:40:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28004025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesofenvy/pseuds/rosesofenvy
Summary: Tsukishima has slowly grown to be more open and trusting, but as he enters his second year at Karasuno, he notices something wrong with his vision. He wants to blame it on stress at first, but it gets worse when he thinks about his best friend. There's no way it's connected though, right?
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	1. If You're Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> “When you reach for the stars, you are reaching for the farthest thing out there. When you reach deep into yourself, it is the same thing, but in the opposite direction. If you reach in both directions, you will have spanned the universe.”  
> ― Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration
> 
> I saw an artist post that it's yamatsukki day! I never know about these things, but regardless I'm finally posting the first part of this beast I've been working on for almost 4 months! It's up to 14,000 words and I'm about 2/3 done, but I'm hoping posting the first chapter will motivate me to finish!
> 
> I was making a specific playlist for this story but then realized it was becoming my "girl you're depressed" playlist so if y'all want musical accompaniment here's the link (please put it on shuffle) https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6eQozapptyu2BTqhMGwK39?si=Vw1JaI4ORiSIHjdzASslHA

Tsukishima had learned to never commit too strongly. Emotions lead to heartbreak, and letting someone have a space next to your heart is a recipe for disaster. Of course, as a ten year old already as tall as a high schooler this was not a problem. Most other kids were so intimidated by his appearance they stayed away, they knew better to approach someone twice their size. Kei didn’t help those preconceptions with his constant glaring and smirking. He knew he gave off an untouchable aura and he wanted to keep it that way. That changed when he met Yamaguchi, the pathetic sniveling kid who couldn’t even handle a few bullies. At least, that’s what Kei thought when he first saw him. Learning that these bullies had been tormenting him throughout these last few years of school changed his mind. Yamaguchi had a spine, it kept him going instead of putting any energy towards something as useless as kids knocking him over and ruining his books. Yamaguchi began to grow on him.

Tsukishima didn’t know what to make of his shadow at first. Yamaguchi was talkative, always asking “Tsukki” about anything and everything. “Shut up Yamaguchi” became an almost automatic response once a ramble had gone on for more than a few minutes. A “sorry Tsukki!” was also almost immediately afterward. Tsukishima never failed to notice the small smile Yamaguchi had after saying it, knowing that his words hadn’t hurt his feelings in any way. Although Tsukishima wanted to keep his distance from most, he didn’t want Yamaguchi to leave. 

By high school Yamaguchi was less of a shadow and more of an equal. They both had similar (sometimes terrible) personalities and interests after getting through middle school together, Tsukishima worried less and less about growing too close. After all they’d known each other for years now. Constantly being around each other made it very easy to be open and trusting. That didn’t mean that he was willing to be as open with his other teammates. Volleyball was something to do to fill time. Tsukishima’s height gave him an advantage, and provoking riled up players was an entertaining bonus. 

As their season as first years progressed Tsukishima found it hard to remain present in the team dynamic. It was just a club, why was everyone so committed to something so meaningless? After all, it was three years then moving on to university. The chances of them continuing to play volleyball afterwards was slim to none - not including the two volleyball nuts. Being around teammates that were so passionate about the sport made it hard to feel like he was committed. There was a reason he stopped letting people in, and some pushy teammates making him feel happy about winning a match wasn’t going to change anything. As the season progressed however, the team played harder and harder opponents, and went further and further into the competitive world. 

It was just a club. 

Everyone was doing so much extra practice. Especially Tadashi. He stayed as late as the volleyball obsessed and worked just as hard. It wasn’t difficult to see how exhausted he was, he fell asleep first and woke up last. Tsukishima knew that his height and mediocre blocking was the only thing keeping him on the starting line up, but he didn’ know how to feel thinking about being taken off of it. Why should he go through all the pain of improvement if he can settle back on old skills?

That night of the training camp was different. 

After a shitty game where Tsukishima realized that he was the only one lagging behind, all he wanted was to shower, wallow in his frustration, and pass out. That’s what he would have done if Yamaguchi hadn’t come after him. If someone asked him to recount the conversation, Tsukishima would only have been able to say that Yamaguchi had knocked the sense into him. His determination to make Tsukishima understand why they were all so focused on improving themselves had definitely broken through his nonchalant composure. The look Yamaguchi had when he got in Tsukishima’s face, yelling about “what more do you need than pride” is what truly got through to him. That night he felt that something had changed between the two of them. 

The rest of the summer camp passed. They went through tournaments and more. They lost their precious third years. 

Tsukishima spent the next season constantly training with Yamaguchi. They both knew that their generation of the volleyball club was forming the backbone for the future players. And something still was changing between them. 

Tsukishima agreed more often to “team sleepovers”, which were essentially Hinata and Kageyama begging for study tips as the new school year drew closer. Yamaguchi would tag along and sometimes Yachi would too. They would all gather at a predetermined house and would work until someone (usually Hinata) got bored. When Yachi was invited, Tsukishima always noticed how Yamaguchi blushed around her, especially if she also agreed to sleep over. Tsukishima had a hard time sleeping on those nights. 

As the school year started again, beginning as second years, Tsukishima started noticing something was wrong with him. 

During classes his vision would go unfocused. He initially chalked it up to being over exhausted from practice and school beginning again. It was easy to excuse the first few months of the school year. After all, there were more responsibilities for them and he had to get used to the homework load. However, after a practice match Tsukishima found that his vision went dark for a few seconds longer than normal. 

“Tsukki, you ok?” he heard Yamaguchi ask from beside him. He turned towards him, feeling his heart pound as his vision returned in dull greys.

“I’m fine, just tired,” Tsukishima said, trying to keep his voice level and letting a bit of exhaustion seep through. His hands were shaking. 

“Tired-shima!” Hinata shouted at him. Tsukishima shot a glare in his direction and turned back to Yamaguchi, who was still looking at him with concern.. 

“I’m fine,” He said again, quieter and more insistent, and walked towards the sidelines. The nets were almost broken down at this point and all that was left was the mopping. The first years were getting to that so there was nothing left he needed to do. At this point he was more worried about his vision fading again. It seemed back to normal, but he didn’t want to feel a false sense of relief then to trip and eat shit in front of the whole team. 

“Great job tonight, remember to rest up for the practice matches tomorrow and the day after, you’re dismissed!” Coach Ukai calls out to them. He’d already told them he wouldn’t be holding an after practice meeting because he had to pick up an extra shift at his other job last minute. 

“Let’s go back to the club room Tsukki,” Yamaguchi says, smiling at him in a poor attempt to not seem worried. Tsukishima doesn’t say anything, but grabs his stuff and begin walking out. Once in the clubroom, the two of them change out in silence. Tsukishima keeps his gaze down and contemplates his developing vision problems.

“Oh damn, we have that test tomorrow in literature!” Yamaguchi says suddenly. Tsukishima finishes packing away his practice uniform and looks up, raising an eyebrow at him. 

“Yes?” 

Yamaguchi sticks his tongue out at Tsukishima’s tone, “You may be good at it but I’ve had a terrible time the past two readings. Can you help me study a bit tonight?” 

Tsukishima creases his eyebrows, “It’s already 9:30, won’t you be out too late?” 

“Nah, I’ll text my mom that I’m studying, it’ll be fine!”

Tsukishima begrudgingly agrees, and the two of them leave as the other members begin trickling in to change. The walk back is the same as always, except Yamaguchi continues to follow Tsukishima instead of splitting off at his intersection. Tsukishima feels tension crawling through his back. He’s nervous that his vision might fade again. It had started occurring more often and now it might start happening during practice. His anxiety over the matter fades as he reaches his house. Oddly enough he’d felt better on the entire walk home compared to the entire school day.

“I’m home, Yamaguchi is with me,” He calls out while leaving his shoes at the front door. Yamaguchi follows suit as they both head into the kitchen. Tsukishima’s mom was there finishing dishes. 

“Hey honey, and always good to see you Yamaguchi! There’s some rice balls in the fridge if you want them. Feel free to take what you want.”

“Thanks,” They both say in unison, both of them glancing at each other with a look at the moment of synchronization.

“He’s just staying for a few hours so we can study for a test tomorrow,” Tsukishima says before they take their light dinner to Tsukishima’s room. Tsukishima pulls out his literature notes as they both settle on the floor with their backs against the bed. 

“I will never get tired of your mom's rice balls after a long day of practice,” Yamaguchi sighs through a bite. He uses his free hand to pull out his own notes. “I’m so not ready for this test.”

  
“I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Tsukishima says automatically. Tadashi had never been one to get back grades. It was the other two dumbasses they needed to worry about. 

“Yeah…” Tadashi trails off. Tsukishima glances at him to see him thoughtfully chewing on his third rice ball. 

“What.” Tsukishima says flatly. He flinches a bit when Tadashi looks up and makes eye contact with him, his stare intense. 

“Are you really ok?” 

Tsukishima snorts, “Yes Yamaguchi. I’m tired after playing a five set practice match.”

“I’m being serious,” Yamaguchi pouts, “I’m not trying to be rude or anything but it seemed like there was something wrong with your eyes at the end of the match. I just don’t want another Hinata on our hands.” 

“I’m offended,” Tsukishima says dramatically, “I know how to manage my health more than shrimpy, come on Yamaguchi.”

“Ok ok, I’ll stop asking,” Yamaguchi says in surrender, then looks back down at the notes. Tsukishima felt a stab of...something at being so defensive. The feeling passes when Yamaguchi looks up at him again. 

“Can I ask you something else?” Yamaguchi asks. 

“Sure.”

“Do you think if I asked Yachi to the festival she would go with me?” 

Tsukishima almost chokes on his most recent bite but fights past the icy feeling in his chest. 

“Why wouldn’t she?” 

“I don’t know,” Yammaguchi huffs and puts his head in his hands. “She’s just so sweet and pretty and I’m worried she might say yes because she’s too nice to say no.” 

“She wouldn’t do that.” Tsukishima says flatly. He sets down the rice ball he’d been eating at, feeling sick. 

“But how would I know!” Yamaguchi groans, not noticing how Tsukishima had withdrawn from his more splayed out position on the ground with him. 

“You won’t know until you ask.” 

“You’re right,” Yamaguchi sighs, finally looking back over at Tsukishima. He raises his eyebrow at the plate that was only half empty, then looks back at his notes. “I’m pretty scared that she’ll reject me. Or maybe she has a thing for someone else.”

Tsukishima swallows hard against the knot forming in his throat, “You can ask in a way that gives her ways out. You could always say you want to go as friends and see where it goes from there.”

“Hmmm, see I thought about that,” Yamaguchi says, “But since you wouldn’t be coming I feel like it just screams ‘this is a date’ instead of something friends would do.” 

Tsukishima feels like there’s a knife slicing his chest through the center. He’d always gone with Yamaguchi to the festival and this blatant ‘you’re not invited’ hurt.

“There’s no way to know unless you try,” He goes to stand, but stumbles forward instead. He feels terrible, his depth perception is shot, and visions gone wavy. 

“Hey whoa! Tsukki are you ok?” Yamaguchi scrambles to his feet to pull on Tsukishima’s arms. Once he was sure Tsukishima was steady, Yamaguchi reached to put the back of his hand against Tsukishima’s forehead. Although it helped Tsukishima orient himself, he flinches back and scowls. 

“I don’t have a fever,” He says flatly, taking a step back from Yamaguchi. 

“You should’ve told me you weren’t feeling well,” Yamaguchi frowns, “I wouldn’t have bugged you with studying and my personal dilemma. Also that’s a lie, you’re warm”

“I don’t have one, I’m just tired. It's really fine,” Tsukishima sighs, “I didn’t start feeling worse till now. You can just head home.” 

Yamaguchi begrudgingly gathers his things and checks the time, “It’s already been an hour so I should be heading home anyways. Hey, tell your mom you’re not feeling well or I will. If you’re coming down with something I don’t want to see you at school tomorrow.”

“Ok mom,” Tsukishima says, rolling his eyes in an attempt to lighten the mood. He realized his mistake as the room spun a bit before settling on Yamaguchi’s concerned expression.. 

“I’ll let myself out, I hope you feel better after some rest.” Yamaguchi says before leaving. 

Tsukishima stands beside his bed for a few moments before tentatively making his way to the bathroom. He stands in front of the mirror and examines his face. He did look a bit flushed, maybe he was coming down with something. 

There’s a grey tinge permanently hovering at the edge of his vision that makes it hard to tell how far away anything is. Taking off his glasses made it twice as bad. He decides to shower and see if that helps anything. His mom would be in bed already so there was no reason to wake her unless he started feeling worse. 

Tsukishima checks his phone before getting into bed for the night. Akiteru had texted him saying he’d be visiting for the weekend. Yamaguchi had also texted him a “home safe :)”. Tsukishima replies to Akiteru and climbs into bed. He finds it incredibly hard to sleep. His thoughts kept returning to Yamaguchi and Yachi. He didn’t understand why he felt so terrible about it. Yachi was very sweet, if anyone deserved each other it would be the two sweetest people on the team. But why did his head ache and chest burn thinking about them together?

It took many hours of tossing and turning before Tsukishima finally fell asleep and it was fitful at best. 

* * *

When Tsukishima woke the next morning he couldn’t tell if his eyes were open. 

“Kei! Breakfast!” He heard his mom call. He could barely hear it over the pounding of his heart. He sat up and began gently touching his face. He felt himself blink several times, but his vision remained dark and muddy. He tries not to panic as he feels around for his glasses and puts them on. After a few minutes of letting himself calm down he realizes it wasn’t pitch black like he’d thought, he could faintly make out the outlines of his room. The sun should be up a bit so it was an unnatural hue.

Tsukishima debates the pros and cons of calling his mom to him, and decides to try his luck with making his way to the kitchen. He hears his phone vibrate on the desk and takes a few careful steps to it. His glasses barely improved his visibility, but he was able to just barely read the text. 

[ Tadashi: are you coming to school today? Lmk 

6:47a ]

[ Kei: not sure

7:02a ]

Kei takes a breath to calm himself and makes his way downstairs. He’s grateful for the easy layout of the house he’d lived in with his family for years. He brushes his hand past the doorway into the kitchen and looks for his mom, but he is surprised by the presence of another body in the room. 

“Look! Akiteru is here a day early!” His mother exclaims from where she’s standing in front of the stove. Kei nods, worried at the fact that he couldn’t tell it was Akiteru until his mom said so. 

“Are you ok Kei?” Akiteru says, pushing away from the table and walking up to Kei. Kei could pick out that he was wearing a blue sweater, but few other features. 

“Um… I can’t really see,” Tsukishima mumbles, feeling uncomfortable under his brother's scrutiny. It wasn’t like they’d grown much closer since their reconnecting a year prior. He could at least stand to have a conversation 

“You can’t see?” His mother repeats in concern, abandoning what she’d been working on and rushing over to him. Kei feels her hand on a shoulder, and he leans down a bit to be eye level with her. 

“Oh my, Akiteru can you call the school? He’s not going in today. I’m going to get you an appointment with the eye doctor right now,” their mom says. She holds her hand against her forehead like Tadashi had last night and mutters something about grabbing a fever reducer. Kei nods and stands up again. He slowly finds a seat at the table and carefully puts a piece of toast and some of the eggs his mom had made onto a plate. He can barely taste them. He listens to the phone conversations, but pretends he hadn’t been when his mom returns. 

“Ok sweetheart, Akiteru is going to take you in an hour. I’m going to try to get off work early but if not I’ll be off by six. Call me if you need anything.” Kei feels her run a hand over his head and he nods. Her job as a nurse often had her working long and weird hours. Although in moments like this it was nice, since she was able to get him an appointment in such short notice. 

Kei realizes she probably knows what’s wrong, and that it’s probably not good if she was so quick to make him an appointment. He listens to her leave and lets out a small sigh. Thankfully his vision was slowly coming back. He decides he should get ready, and text Tadashi and Ennoshita. 

[ Kei: not going please get notes for me 

7:15a ]

[ Tadashi: sure thing Tsukki! Feel better!!

7:15a ]

[ Kei: I’m not going to be at practice today, not feeling well. Doctor's note will be filed later today.

7:16a ]

[ Ennoshita: Thanks for letting me know

7:18a ] 

With those out of the way Kei gets dressed. Since he didn’t have to put on his uniform he chose a simple sweatshirt and jeans. With it being so early it was still chilly outside. He still has some time before they need to leave, so he picks a few songs to listen to since he didn’t think he could read to pass the time right now.

All too soon Akiteru knocks on his door and says it’s time to leave. Kei slips his phone and wallet into his pockets as he follows his brother to the car. 

“Are you feeling any better?” 

“A little,” Tsukishima knows the eye clinic is only about ten minutes away so he could probably handle some small talk. 

“Has this been happening a lot? I can’t see how you would even make it through practice,” Akiteru says casually, but Kei can tell with his quick glances that he’s worried. 

“It didn’t get bad till yesterday. I’m not worrying about it,” Tsukishima replies, trying to sound nonchalant but he can't help but fiddle with his fingers. 

“I’m glad you can be so calm, I would be freaking out if I was in your shoes,” Akiteru chuckles. Kei knows it’s meant to lighten the mood, but he doesn’t feel any better about the situation. 

“Yeah I’m trying,” He replies, then turns his head to look out the window. He slides his headphones over his head and lets the music play until they get to the doctors office.

The eye doctor they visit is in a large building that hosts other specialists like ENT’s and dermatologists. This means it’s a whole affair to get checked in and shown to the right waiting room. 

“I’ll stay here unless they call me back there,” Akiteru says as they both sit on the indicated side. 

“That’s fine.”

It’s only a few moments before a bubbly nurse calls him back. Her scrubs were covered in pink and green stars and she’s all smiles and reassurances. 

“So your mom called you in with vision difficulties today?” She asks as she indicates the room they’ll be in. He nods and follows her inside. 

“Alrighty well, the doctor will be in a few moments, so I’ll go ahead and take care of the procedure eye exam! If you could just come to these machines here I’m sure you’re familiar with the process.”

The nurse continues to stay bright and optimistic as she conducts the exam, before leaving him in the chair to wait for the doctor. Tsukishima fiddles with his glasses and puts them back on after a few moments. He thankfully doesn’t have to wait long. 

“Hello Kei, good to see you again,” The doctor greets warmly as she uses the hand sanitizer on the wall. “I see that your exam has been taken care of, what brings you in here on such short notice today?” She grabs the clipboard the nurse had left for her and is scanning over the information as Kei responds.   


“I woke up this morning with almost no vision. It’s slowly been getting better as the day goes on.” Kei tries to keep it simple. 

“Has this happened before?” She asks as she walks over to the chair on the side of the room.

“Not this severely. It’s never left me almost completely blind.”

“So you have been losing your vision at different times,” She waits for a confirmation before continuing, “How long has this been happening?”

“About two months.”

“Can you describe the process and severity?

“It started as just spots in my vision and feeling unfocused. In the past few weeks I would lose my vision for no more than a minute. Today I woke up with almost no vision.”

Kei realizes as he says it that he’s been putting up with this way longer than he should’ve. His mom would be pissed if she knew.The doctor seems thoughtful as she scribbles down more notes, then pulls up something on her laptop. She types for a few moments before giving Kei a look. 

“Kei this may be an odd question, but when was the last time you cried?”

Kei feels his eyebrows crease as he tries to think back. The last time he’d actually broken down and cried was probably... “I think when I was a kid, like elementary or middle school or something.” 

“I see,” The doctor scribbles something on the clipboard and stands up, “I want to do one more exam procedure to confirm what I think it is, it’s really simple just to induce tears. Did you drive yourself?” 

“No, my brother drove me,” Kei replies. 

“That’s good, you may have some additional difficulty seeing after this. It may be a bit uncomfortable for you, but it shouldn't be painful.”

“That’s fine.” 

The doctor uses some eye drops that make Kei’s vision blur and he feels the wet heat of tears slide down his cheeks without the usual emotion accompanying them. She was right, it was mildly uncomfortable. Once the doctor collects a few of the tears she promises to return after analyzing them, but even through the blurriness of his vision Kei can see her expression shift grimly. Kei takes the opportunity to rub at his eyes as the doctor goes to the other room to get the results. The wait is definitely longer than last time and it makes him significantly more nervous. He almost jumps when the doctor re-enters the room with a folder in her hands. She gives him a gentle smile as she moves to the counter closest to him.

“Alright Kei I believe we know what's wrong, with your vision, but unfortunately there's some problems with this. Your condition is what is colloquially called ‘star tears’. It’s caused by a type of stress found in young adults ages around 12-20. This type of stress is most commonly caused by relationships, either platonic or romantic. This condition is usually caught early because of the tell-tale star shaped tears. However, because you haven’t cried you were never shown the warnings.” She takes the opportunity to show him a few of the pictures in the folder. He can see the star-like shapes blown up to fit the whole page. The doctor continues, “Your pupils also begin to change shape, which is what causes the loss of vision.This loss will be permanent if the stress factor isn’t removed as soon as possible.”

Tsukishima clasps his hands and focuses on keeping his breathing even. Relationships? Stress factor? Permanently losing his vision? He concentrates on the tips of his fingers as he tries to ground himself. He looks up as the doctor softly says his name.

“You’ll be ok Kei,” The doctor says gently, putting a hand over his, “This can be fixed. I understand it’s very overwhelming right now. Your exams show that you are in the second stage of this disease. You’re experiencing instances of lessened vision, but they are brief. The fourth stage is where the threat of vision loss is severe.”

“Ok,” Kei murmurs quietly. He’s ok, it isn’t that bad, he needs to calm down. He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. 

“Would you like me to discuss treatment options now? Your brother can be brought in as well if you want him to hear it.” 

“It’s ok, you can just tell me.” 

“Alright,” The doctor begins referencing the clipboard again, “Luckily there are a few options. The first is our standard response which are eye drops that assist in clearing your vision. We will go ahead and provide you with a few bottles. The next two options you’ll need to choose between. There is medication that can calm the severe emotions you experience from these stressors until you are able to cope with them yourself. The other is behavioral therapy. Unfortunately, the therapy offices only operate during your school hours.”   


“So my if I take the medication I’ll still be able to go to school?” 

“Yes that is correct. However I see that you’re an athlete?”

“Yes, I’m in the volleyball club,” Tsukishima replies, feeling a tightness in his chest. 

The doctor sighs, “Unfortunately the medication advises against any strenuous physical activity. We would of course provide a doctor's note to excuse you from practice.” 

Kei closes his eyes and exhales sharply. Of course, either way he wouldn’t be able to participate in practice. He opens his eyes and sees the doctor waiting for his response.

“I’ll start with the medication, that way I can at least attend school,” He decides after a moment. 

“Alright, I’ll get that prescription written up,” She says, jotting something on the clipboard. “I’ll go ahead and let you know some of the instructions. You’ll need to eat before taking it and there are a few common side effects such as nausea, migraines, vertigo, among others that you’ll be able to read. If you have severe side effects please contact me, as well as any severe shifts in mood.” She stands and begins rifling through drawers until she finds the eyedrops. She hands them to him in a little baggie. At a quick glance it looks like there are instructions on a little sheet of paper. 

“Is there any estimate on recovery time,” He asks, watching as she gathers her things to get ready to leave the room. 

“Unfortunately every case is different. Some resolve in days, some weeks and months, I’ve seen it go for years, but that's very rare. I’ve only seen about 20 people with the condition in my 15 years at this office. It goes case by case and we track them closely since this disease is so rarely researched,” The doctor replies sadly.

“I see,” Kei says quietly.

“We’re going to go ahead and set up another appointment for you in a month before you go, however if you experience any severe changes, schedule an appointment immediately and we’ll get you in as soon as we can,” She says as she motions for him to follow her. They walk together to the desk where the doctor hands over the prescription instructions and the appointment request before bidding a farewell to Kei.

“Alright we’ve got you set up a month from now and that prescription will be ready in an hour,” The receptionist reports, writing the details on a business card. “Any questions or concerns, feel free to call us! Have a nice day!” 

Kei mumbles a thank you as he leaves, Akiteru looks up at him as he walks out with a business card and bag of eyedrops in hand. 

“How’d it go?” Akiteru asks as he follows Kei outside, poorly hiding his concern. 

“It’s caused by stress. She filed a prescription that’ll be ready in an hour,” Kei replies simply. He ignores the look that Akiteru gives him as he gets into the car. He rubs at his eyes again, hoping that the blurriness will subside until he can get home and try the eyedrops. 

“I’ll go pick it up once it’s ready,” Akiteru says, as they pull out of the parking lot, “You said an hour?”

“Yeah,” Kei slides his headphones over his head to avoid any further conversation for the short ride back home. He’s thankful that Akiteru doesn’t try to talk to him until they’re getting out of the car at home.

“Will you be ok while I go pick it up?” Akiteru asks him as they walk inside. 

“I’ll be fine, the doctor gave me some eye drops that are supposed to help,” Kei replies. School would be ending around this time and everyone else was probably headed to practice. They had another practice match today, he hoped Coach Ukai would be ok with his absence. Maybe he would recover enough over the weekend to attend the matches next week. 

“Make sure to eat something, I know you didn’t have much at breakfast,” Akiteru calls from the entryway, “I’m headed out.” 

“I will,” Kei responds. He didn’t have much of an appetite. However, knowing that Akiteru would subject him to his cooking inspired him to make a quick dish. He only ate half before heading up to his room. He didn’t feel terrible other than the smudges in his vision. He resisted the urge to rub his eyes again and instead checked his phone. 

[Tadashi: I made sure to get you good notes. Let me know how you’re feeling!

2:10p]

[Hinata: Shitty Tsukishima, feel better! We’ll beat this team with no sweat for you!

1:54p]

Kei snorts at Hinata’s text and replies with a “ :/ “ that he’s sure will rile Hinata up. He isn’t surprised that he didn’t get a text from Kageyama or Yachi. They normally only texted him if it was serious.  He doesn’t feel like replying to Tadashi, but he sends a “thx”. He was feeling rather exhausted after the information overload of the day. He decides to nap until either Akiteru or his mom get back. 


	2. No Need To Show Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite this fic almost being complete I still never make myself an update schedule - I'm going to try and post once a week from now on to make sure I finish this in reasonable amount of time.

Kei dreams of a dark room. He could only feel his surroundings, and those revealed little about where he was. It felt like his room, but it wasn’t. He stumbles through things he knows wouldn’t be on his floor. His heart is pounding, he can’t breathe. The darkness was pressing against him, even the tips of his outstretched hand couldn’t move. He couldn’t hear anything either. It was if he’d been sucked into a vacuous space. He wants to shout and to move but he could barely feel anything than the pulse in his chest-

“Kei sweetheart-” 

Kei gasps awake, vision clouded into unidentifiable blurs. 

“It’s me honey, Akiteru said you were sleeping when he came back with the medication,” His mom says gently. He feels her hand draw away from his shoulder. 

Kei sighs and rubs a hand over his face, “Yeah I didn’t intend to sleep long, I was just tired after the appointment.” 

“That’s understandable sweetheart, Akiteru told me a few details but you can fill me in later when you’re ready. I’ve already turned in the doctor's note to the school to excuse you from practice and missing today. I’m going to start dinner soon, any requests?”

Kei shakes his head, “I’ll eat whatever you make.” 

His mom gently ruffles his hair and straightens, “Alright, I’ll let you know when it’s ready. You need to eat before you can take the medication so there’s no need to worry about that right now either.”

Kei nods and tries his best to read the time on his phone. He could do the eyedrops twice more today, so he didn’t want to end up not being able to see by the end of the day. He’d slept for two hours, so it was around 5 pm. He could afford to use them again. He was never a big fan of eyedrops after having to use them so much as a kid, but he didn’t exactly have much of a choice. Once his vision clarifies so that he can actually read his phone he checks his notifications.  Kei forgot that his reply to Tadashi was very lackluster as he looks through the recent texts on his phone. 

[ Tadashi: Text me soon Tsukki I’m worried about you :( 

2:04 p ]

[ Tadashi: I’m going to have to drop off the homework, lmk when I can

2:15 p ]

[ Kei: Sorry I fell asleep.

[ Kei: After practice is fine. 

5:16 p ]

He knew they were doing the practice match so he didn’t expect a reply till after. He slides his phone as far away as possible from him on the desk and lays his head down. He only lets himself wallow for a moment before unpacking his backpack. Since he missed the test today he would need to study for it to retake tomorrow. 

Kei spends time until dinner studying. Eating was a quiet affair, but Kei had the feeling Akiteru and his mom had been talking about him while he was in his room. He found he still didn’t have much of an appetite, but ate what he could. Akiteru had left the medication on the counter for him. 

Tsukishima takes the bottle to the bathroom and reads the instructions. He couldn’t even attempt to pronounce the name of the prescription. He had to take it twice daily, and there was a whole list of side effects. He was prohibited from doing any exercise or driving while taking it. There was enough supply for a month. He shakes a pill out onto his hand and washes it down with some water from the sink. 

He takes the bottle back to his room and sets it on his nightstand as a reminder to take it in the morning. After a moment he also programs a reminder in his phone. He only needed to take the pills at least 6 hours apart, so he wanted to get onto a routine. 

“Kei, Tadashi’s here for you!” His mom calls from the front door. 

“He can come here” Kei replies, rubbing at his eyes and settling back in his desk chair. He listens to Tadashi’s footsteps, looking up as he appears in the doorway. Tadashi smiles wide as he comes into the room, setting down his backpack near Kei’s bed. 

“Hey Tsukki! How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” Tsukishima replies, “I’ll be back in class on Monday.” 

Yamaguchi looks relieved, “That’s good to hear! Are you going to be able to come to practice?” 

Tsukishima grimaces, “No, I’m not allowed to do strenuous exercise with the medication I’m on.” 

“That’s a huge bummer,” Yamaguchi frowns. “So...what exactly is wrong? I remember your eyes were kind of weird last night, does it have something to do with that?”

“Yeah,” Tsukishima replies, “It’s caused by some sort of stress. It heavily affects my vision. They didn’t tell me much else about it.” He knows more than he wants to about it at this point after some intense research and really doesn’t feel like repeating the information.

“Whoa what? Does it permanently affect it?” Yamaguchi says in surprise. 

“It depends,” Tsukishima rubs the back of his neck. “Every case is different. Apparently some people permanently lose their vision. Most people recover just fine though.” 

“Shit man,” Yamaguchi breathes, “Are you doing ok with that?”

Kei pushes back the urge to glare and sighs, “I found out this morning Yamaguchi, I haven’t exactly had a lot of time to process it.” 

“Sorry Tsukki,” Yamaguchi says guiltily “I’m just worried about you,”. Tsukishima feels bad for his snappy response. 

“It’s fine,” He says, changing the subject, “What did I miss today?” 

Yamaguchi lets it slide and retrieves the papers from his backpack, “Not too much. Some notes, I made copies of mine for you. There’s a quiz next week in math, but I got a copy of the prep sheets for you. We have an essay due at the end of next week in history, but we’re going to get class time to work on it. Otherwise not much.” 

Tsukishima glances through the stack of papers, feeling relief that he didn’t miss much and that it was possible to read them at all. “How was practice?”

“It was fine,” Yamaguchi shrugs, “Yachi took notes over it, she wanted to make a copy for you tonight but I told her to just wait till monday. Hinata and Kageyama complained that you were being ‘lazy and irresponsible’ but I know they were just worried about you.” 

Tsukishima finds himself focusing on the bit about Yachi. She and Yamaguchi talked during or after practice, did Yamaguchi ask her to the festival yet? No definitely not, right? He was only talking about it yesterday…

“Yo earth to Kei!” Yamaguchi waves his hand in front of his face, pulling Kei out of his thoughts. 

“What,” He snaps. 

Yamaguchi frowns, “You were totally spaced man, are you feeling ok? I can go home if you want me to.”

“You’re fine,” Tsukishima takes a deep breath, “I was just thinking about how I won’t be able to participate in practice for a bit.” 

Yamaguchi nods in understanding, “Yeah that really sucks. You can probably sit with Yachi and observe though! I’m sure Coach Ukai would want you to do something. It’s the same as if you had hurt your ankle or something!” 

Tsukishima holds back his reaction at the mention of Yachi again, but nods in agreement. “Want to talk to me through your notes?” He didn’t want Yamaguchi to leave yet. 

“Sure thing!” Yamaguchi chirps, pulling out his own notebook and flipping through it. The next few hours passed with Yamaguchi reading and quizzing Tsukishima on his notes. They both spent time on homework afterwards. Since it was the weekend, Yamaguchi wasn’t as worried about getting home before a certain hour. 

“Alright think you’ll be good? You can always text me if you have a question,” Yamaguchi asks as he’s packing up to leave. 

“I’m good. Thank you for bringing the homework and notes for me,” Tsukishima replies, standing to walk him to the door. 

“No problem! Anything for you Tsukki,” Yamaguchi replies with a wink, slinging his backpack onto his back. 

Tsukishima feels his chest tighten, and he unconsciously rubs it as he leads Yamaguchi to the door. 

“Let me know when you’re home,” Tsukishima says as Yamaguchi leaves. Yamaguchi grins and promises he’ll text. Tsukishima watches him leave, letting his hand come to a rest on his chest. 

What the hell was that?

* * *

Tsukishima dutifully kept up with the eyedrops and the medication and it kept the dark edges of his vision at bay. He would wake up in the morning with little eyesight, but the drops helped clear it up enough for him to function. He didn’t really know what the pills were doing since they didn’t help his vision. He remembers the doctor saying they would dull emotions or something but they weren’t doing that either, because he sure was overthinking every little thing about his most recent interaction with Tadashi.

He didn’t understand what he was so worked up about. They were friends, friends are close. Friends understand each other. Friends eventually get in relationships with other people but are still friends. He doesn’t want to think about the fact that he may be jealous about Yamaguchi asking Yachi to the festival. Let alone the fact that he has a crush on his best friend. Instead he decides to push it out of his head until the subject broaches naturally again. 

Returning to school on monday was normal. He could see, he had no fever, and he overall felt fine. He made sure to talk to Takeda before the day started to explain the situation of practice, and Takeda let him know it’d be fine for him to just observe until he was cleared to participate. 

Kei was of course badgered at practice asking if he was feeling better and if he should be home resting still. He waved them off with an “Of course I’m fine, I’m just sitting out until I’m cleared from this medication.”

Coach Ukai called them all to attention to start practice. Kei listens closely to the new lineups they’re going to try while he's benched. Normally he would feel disappointed, even though there was nothing he could do about the situation. Now though he felt oddly numb. Coach Ukai dismisses them and Yachi waves Kei over. 

“Hi Tsukishima, I hope you’re feeling better! Here’s a clipboard for you to take notes with. I’ll have you track successful blocks today if that’s alright with you. Make sure to jot anything you think they’ll need to work on by the end of practice too!” She smiles brightly as she hands him a clipboard with a small stack of lined paper. 

“Sounds good, thanks,” Tsukishima replies, finding a spot to observe the court. Yachi goes to the opposite side to take notes on whatever she was tracking for the day. He spends the rest of practice filling the sheets with his thoughts on the blocking, especially for the new first years. At the end of the practice, Coach Ukai has him read his notes for the team to know what to work on. 

Yamaguchi offers to walk home with Kei after practice, which Kei agrees to begrudgingly. He’s sure that Yamaguchi is just worried about him.  This cycle of waking up, taking medication, going to school, taking notes at practice, and walking home with Yamaguchi continues for the next couple of weeks. During this, Kei begins to notice something concerning. 

Although he’d always been apathetic, he was finding it hard to feel anything at all. Passing a test didn’t bring any joy, seeing a good play from the first years didn’t spark excitement, spending time with Yamaguchi didn’t make him feel warm. He was numb. He didn’t even want to bring it up to anyone because he was sure they would just mention that that’s how he usually is. 

He had another appointment scheduled next week so he could just bring it up then, but he decided to instead look online at what other people had dealt with with this disease.  A quick search of the medication online brought up threads of people’s experiences. Most of them at quick glance were negative. Kei gets the bottle from his bedside table and reads through the usage and instructions. 

_ “Take one pill twice daily. Do not exceed two pills in 12 hours. Eat before consumption. Side effects include: Dizziness, nausea, excessive headaches, migraines, vertigo, or loss of appetite. If severe vertigo develops discontinue use and contact your practitioner. If any change in mood occurs contact your practitioner.” _

Kei looks back to the comments on his laptop and clicks on one to read. 

_ Chel2426: I was given the medication and the eyedrops for my condition, ditched the medication after a month. Made me feel terrible and had migraines every other day. Couldn’t find any interest in things I loved doing. Stuck to the eyedrops and I improved.  _

_ Gayle5888 reply to Chel2426: Same here. Worst thing EVER!! So glad I was able to find the root of my stress before it got bad. Took three months.  _

The thread continues with people denouncing the medication for most of the normal reasons, until Kei finds another thread on another reason. 

_ Caleb96: Couldn’t feel a thing after a week, not even concern for my own wellbeing. Decided it was better for my safety to flush the shit down the toilet. Felt better within a few days. Don’t just flush it tho - there’s some withdrawal. Ended up with migraines. Had them for months before they went away. _

_ Jack7643 Reply to Caleb96: same.felt bad on pills. Felt worse after. Got better after a week. Still can't see well tho. _

Kei grimaces and stops reading. He shakes the pills in the bottle, knowing he had another week left before he would need a refill. Hopefully he didn’t. He feels his phone vibrate and pulls it out. 

[ Tadashi: Hey! Study group w/ me and Yachi tonight, coffeeshop, want to join?

6:15p ]

Kei stares at the message for a solid minute. He wants to say no, but he knows that he’d been distant since he couldn’t play in matches. They did have a big test coming up next week. It was a Friday so they didn’t have to worry about staying out too late.

[ Kei: normal place?

Tadashi: Yup! Meet at 7?

Kei: (thumbs up)

6:17p ]

Kei checks the time, 6:18p, so he needs to get ready and leave within 20 minutes. He sighs and slides back from his desk. He begins gathering his laptop, headphones, chargers, and schoolwork. He makes sure he has some cash for the cafe as well. Although his vision had been consistently clear, he slips the eye drops into his pocket just to be safe. He’ll probably be home before he needs to take the medication so he leaves it on his nightstand. 

He lets his mom know that he would be leaving and heads out. He slides his headphones on as he walks. He wouldn’t run into them on the way, since he assumed they were all walking separately. If he was taking his time he would still get to the cafe 10 minutes early. 

The coffee shop isn’t terribly busy, so he’s able to snag one of the bigger tables in a corner. He orders a latte and a strawberry scone and returns to the table to wait. The corner had a good view of the street so he was able to watch for them. He doesn’t have to wait long to see both Yachi and Yamaguchi walking down the sidewalk together. His breath stops in his chest for a moment before he forces himself to exhale. 

“Hi Tsukki! Hope you weren’t waiting long!” Yamaguchi greets, pulling out the chair across from him, putting his backpack on the floor. 

“Not at all,” Kei replies, “I just got here.”

“That’s good! I was worried we were going to be late!” Yachi says, putting her backpack on the back of the chair at the end of the table. 

“Let’s go order, be right back!” Yamaguchi says brightly, heading towards to register. Tsukishima watches as Yachi follows with a smile on her face. He forces himself to look away, digging out the notes for their math class. They had a large packet to finish for test prep. He needs to focus on that instead of the thought of the way they had walked so closely down the sidewalk. 

The three of them work quietly on their studying unless one of them has a specific question. Kei keeps his headphones off the entire time, and he finds he feels more like himself than he had in a week. All too quickly they noticed they only had half an hour before the shop closed, it was already 10pm. 

Tadashi and Kei walk Yachi as far as she would let them, with her insistence that they were going too far out of the way and she could make it the last little bit by herself. Kei notices how she blushes as she waves the two of them away, looking more away from Yamaguchi. Kei slides his gaze over to Tadashi and sees the light pink sprinkling his cheeks too. His chest starts to burn, and a pressure begins forming in his head. 

As the two of them are walking home, Tsukishima tries to shove his overactive thoughts down, at least until he can get home, he’ll be fine if he could just-

“Soooooo I don’t know if you could tell but I asked her to the festival,” Yamaguchi bursts out excitedly, breaking the silence between them, “And she said yes! I think she thinks it's just as friends, but that’s fine!”

Kei wants to say “congratulations” or “nice” or something, but the word comes out choked and unintelligible as a pressure forms behind his eyes and he has to stop walking. 

“Something wrong Tsukki?” Yamaguchi asks in concern, stopping immediately and turning towards him. 

Kei can feel a sharp heat spreading through his chest and he hisses out a breath as his head begins to throb. He brings his hands up to his eyes and pushes his glasses back in order to rub the heels hard into his eyes. 

“Hey are you ok?” He can hear Yamaguchi take a few steps towards him, then he feels Yamaguchi’s hands on his arms. 

“Head hurts,” Kei says, or tries to. It comes out as more of a gasp. He takes his hands away from his eyes and finds that there isn’t a difference. He can’t see. His heart begins to pound but he tries to quell his panic. 

“What do you need,” Yamaguchi  _ sounds _ like he’s trying not to panic, his hands tightening around Kei’s upper arms. 

“Home, I need to get home,” Kei replies breathlessly, “Are we close?” 

“Um, five minute walk?” Yamaguchi replies, “Wait, can you not see where we are?” 

Kei flinches at the question, “No.” 

“Shit, really? Can you see anything?” Yamaguchi asks frantically. Kei feels him slide his hands up to his shoulders, moving his upper body to what Kei assumes is a position that he could see his eyes. 

“No, Yamaguchi please you’re just gonna have to show me home,” Kei says, sliding a hand to his head and pressing hard. If he didn’t know better he’d thought someone had hit him with a sledgehammer, his head felt like it was splitting apart. The pressure from his hand was helping minimally. 

“Ok ok you’re fine we’re fine,” Yamaguchi says, audibly taking a breath to calm himself down. “Ok um, I’m gonna hold your arm?”

Kei holds out the arm that isn’t pressing against his head and tries to straighten up. He hadn’t noticed how much he’d curled into himself. Kei feels Yamaguchi link his arm through, almost pinning Kei’s arm to his chest. He can feel Tadashi’s heartbeat.

“Ok so let’s just walk and I’ll say something if we need to stop, unless you want me to keep talking to you?” 

“No, my head is splitting apart,” Kei replies in a pained voice, “Walk, I’ll follow.” 

Tsukishima relies on feeling how Yamaguchi was walking in order to keep pace. The concentration was making his head hurt even worse, but he kept telling himself it was only until they got home. He kept hoping his vision would seep back like it had last time, but instead it stayed consistently dark. He could just barely notice the difference from when they were walking under a streetlight than to where they weren’t. 

“I can see your house, do you want me to call for your mom when we get there?” Yamaguchi says after a few minutes of walking.

“No,” Kei says quickly, “If she sees me then we can tell her. I think I just need to sleep it off.” He had an appointment in a week, he’s sure he could make it till then. His mom was already being unbearably concerned for him and he didn't want to give her another reason to hover over him. 

“Tsukki I don’t want to be rude but this doesn’t seem like something you can ‘sleep off’,” Yamaguchi sounds reluctant. 

“I’m fine, it’s probably just a migraine,” Kei tries to sound convincing, but he’s sure he’s failed. Despite his terrible persuasion, Yamaguchi drops it. 

“I’m taking you up to your room, you can’t stop me,” Yamaguchi insists, Tsukishima hears him slide open the door. Kei tries to pull his arm away, but can’t with how tightly Yamaguchi has it hugged to his chest. 

“Shoes can come off now,” Yamaguchi says, pulling away just enough to close the door behind them. He still hasn’t dropped Kei’s arm. Kei can hear him shuffle a bit as he gets off his shoes. Kei toes off his shoes, only able to keep his balance because of Yamaguchi steadying him. 

Kei takes a step forward and prays he doesn’t trip on the step up as he steps up one more. He can feel Yamaguchi pull back slightly before following him. Kei knows his way around the house almost like the back of his hand at this point, but the uncertainty the last ten minutes had started to hit hard. 

“I don’t see your mom,” Yamaguchi mentions softly. Kei nods in response. He can feel Yamaguchi pause as he opens Kei’s door. He hears Yamaguchi flip on his lights, and there’s a slight difference in the grey range of his vision. Kei pulls his arm away and turns towards where his bed is. He lets his legs run into it, gently sitting down onto it so as to not jostle his head. The pain was only getting worse. 

“Can you get painkillers from the bathroom, they’re behind the mirror,” Kei asks quietly.

“Sure thing, I’ll bring you water too,” Yamaguchi says, quickly moving out of the room. Kei sighs hard and cradles his head in his hands. It was a steady pounding behind his eyes, the pain moving through his temples and down his neck. He remembers he hasn’t taken the medication yet. He debates for a moment before deciding not to. He didn’t know if it would react with the painkillers. 

He hears the rattle of a bottle that signals Yamaguchi's return. Kei holds out his hand for the bottle, feeling the press of plastic against his palm. He runs his finger along until he feels the cap and shakes out three onto his palm. He could take up to four. He puts the pills in his mouth and holds the bottle out for Yamaguchi. It’s traded for the glass of water, and Kei takes a quick sip to wash down the pills. 

“So...is this a side effect?” Yamaguchi asks hesitantly. 

“I think so,” Kei mumbles, “Migraines are a possible side effect. I also read online from other people that they got migraines a lot. I get them sometimes but it's been a couple of years.”

“Shit I’m sorry,” Yamaguchi sounds worried, “should I go? Do you need sleep?”

“No,” Tsukishima says quickly, “Don’t, I mean...can you stay a bit longer? I’m...really uncomfortable with being in pain and not being able to see.” Tsukishima had a hard time letting himself be vulnerable. If it was anyone but Yamaguchi he would’ve sent them home a long time ago anyway. 

“I can stay that’s fine!” Tadashi replies, “Thankfully it’s not a school night. Do you want me to spend the night? I can text my mom really quick.”

“Only if you want to,” Tsukishima replies, “Usually it doesn’t take long for me to be able to see again so you can leave then if you want.”

“It’s fine,” Tadashi brushes away the offer, “There, texted. Can I borrow some clothes?” 

“Sure.”

Kei listens to Tadashi shuffle around his room, pulling open drawers and ruffling through clothes. It wasn’t the first time Tadashi had impromptu slept over, so he knew where everything was.  His head throbs harder and Kei fights the urge to groan as he lowers his head into his hands. He didn't think his migraines as a kid were this bad. He wanted someone to knock him out. 

“Tsukki?” Kei hadn’t heard Tadashi come up beside him until his friend was settling onto the bed and softly saying his name. 

“I’m ok,” Kei tries to say convincingly. He knows it won’t work on Tadashi. 

“You’re not,” Tadashi replies pointedly, “here let me take off your glasses, then you can lay down.” Kei feels the frames gently left off his face and can hear the click as they’re set down. He feels Tadashi’s weight leave the bed as he stands. 

“I have to change at least,” Kei sighs, “Do you want the spare bed or do you just want to share?” 

“Sharing’s fine,” Tadashi chirps, sitting back down heavily on the bed. Kei can hear the frame creak in protest. He had upgraded to a larger bed last year, which gave him less room space but meant sleepovers were easier, and he could actually stretch out. 

Kei lets his hand drift over the dresser, counting the knobs and figuring out which drawer held his pajamas. He was starting to see outlines in the grey blur of his vision, but the throbbing robbed him any help from that. He knew how his shirts and shorts felt and was able to choose the ones he wanted that way. After folding up the clothes he’d worn today, since he didn’t want to find the hamper, he makes his way back towards the bed. 

“Ok I need to pass out,” he exhales, “If this kills me I want you to know that dinosaurs had feathers.” 

“You’re not going to die,” Tadashi chides,”And I’ve heard that one, give me something new!”

“Yama, I don’t think I can remember my own name right now, much less think of a dinosaur fact that I haven’t told you.” He hadn’t used that nickname in forever. 

“Fair,” Yamaguchi says, and Kei can hear the smile in his voice.”I’ll turn off the lights now.”

Kei gets settled into bed, Tadashi joins only a few moments later. Being settled almost makes it worse. The throbbing shifts to the side of his head that he’s leaning on and increases in intensity. Kei tries to keep his breathing even, hoping that would settle the migraine. He can tell Yamaguchi noticed his shift in breathing as he moves closer. 

“Can I rub your head Tsukki? That always helps my headaches,” Yamaguchi offers in a whisper. 

Kei huffs out a small laugh, “Good luck, if painkillers won’t do it your magic hands better.” He feels Yamaguchi shift even closer to him, then gently thread his hands through Kei’s hair. As much as Kei doesn’t want to admit it, the feeling of Tadashi carding his finger through his hair was heavenly. 

“Tell me if it hurts more and I’ll stop,” Tadashi murmurs, slowly rubbing his fingertips into Kei’s scalp. 

“ ‘s helping,” Kei slurs, feeling the exhaustion hit him through the still present pain. It was ebbing, but there was no relief to the worry that it would return. He sighs as Yamaguchi gently rubs his thumbs in circles over his temples. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fellas is it gay to share a bed


End file.
